


Sana’y Nagtanong Ka Lang (Kung Di Mo Lang Alam)

by frustratedwritter



Series: Ang Playlist sa Kolehiyo [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M
Language: Filipino
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:36:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24526240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frustratedwritter/pseuds/frustratedwritter
Summary: Mahiyain si Chanyeol, In denial si Baekhyun, buti nalang may Sehun at Kyungsoo.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Oh Sehun
Series: Ang Playlist sa Kolehiyo [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1772461
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Sana’y Nagtanong Ka Lang (Kung Di Mo Lang Alam)

**Author's Note:**

> perstaym q d2 at gusto q lang ilabas ang aking damdamin kc writing iz my form of escape tUHRUY ENGRISHER, 
> 
> kuha ang title mula sa “oo” by up dharma down. Pwedeng pwede pakinggan habang nagbabasa, libre lang din ang judgements/opinions/violent reactions dahil bago pa lang aq d2, pagpasensyahan niyo na ang basura fic q.
> 
> _“puro siya nalang... sana’y ako naman, hindi mo lang alam ika’y minamasdan.”_
> 
> advance apologies for grammatical errors, typos, inconsistencies and other mistakes. maraming salamat sa pagbabasa!

Rinig ang ingay ng bell kasabay ng paglabas ng mga estudyante. Naguunahan sa paglabas sa pintuan mula sa classroom o hindi kaya’y nauusap sa hallway. Marahil ay pinaguusapan ang thesis, project o kung paano makakapasa sa sem. Kasabay nito ang ingay na dala ng pagkainis ng isang Byun Baekhyun. 

_Sorry, B. Nauna magaya si Kyungsoo eh. Mamaya nalang sa dorm?_

Napabuntong hininga nalang si Baekhyun. 

“Oh, anong problema?” Habol sa kanya ni Sehun habang inagaw ang mga librong hawak ng binata. 

“Dapat kasi tinitignan agad cellphone, para saan pa’t nagcellphone ‘di naman ginagamit?!” Ibinaling niya ang inis sa bato na nakaharang sa daanan nila.

“Hmm.” ‘yan lang ang nasabi ni Sehun. Hindi siya sigurado kung anong sasabihin niya o kung meron pa ba. Sumenyas nalang siya na magpatuloy lang sa pagrarant ang binatang kasama niya.

“Nakakainis lang. Ako ‘yung unang nagchat eh! An hour before ng class nila. I doubt kung nagkita sila before class.” Napapout naman ang binata na kanina pa nilalabas ang galit kay Sehun. Inaya niya kasi si Chanyeol na sabay dapat silang kumain. _‘Wag niyo na tanungin dahil according sa kanya._

“Wala namang malisya ‘yon! Masama bang gusto ko lang makasama bestfriend ko?!” 

“Sabi ko nga, ‘di pa nga nagsasalita eh.” Sehun held up his free hand, signaling a surrender from Baekhyun. He chuckled at nagpatuloy lang sa pagpout ang kasama niya. 

“Limang beses na sa isang linggo niya ako tinatanggihan! Ni hindi na nga kami sabay kumain ng dinner. Puro Kyungsoo ganto, Kyungsoo ganyan. Nakakasawa. Nakakarindi. Palibhasa marunong magluto si Kyungsoo. As if naman di siya nasarapan sa Pancit Canton at Itlog ko!” Tuloy tuloy lang siya sa pagrarant at hindi pinapansin ang kasabay na pinipigilan ang tawa sa gilid. 

“Ako nalang, sabay tayo.” He smiled at the smaller one at tinuro ang direksyon sa kakainan nila. 

“Ano pa nga ba, wala naman ako choice.” he puffed a breath in the air and looked up to the taller one. 

“Basta libre mo.” The taller one smiled at lalo namang nainis ang binata. 

“Alam mo! Ikaw puro ka ganyan!” Pinagpapalo naman niya ang kasama niya.

“Baby pa naman ako eh!” He whined which earned a laugh from the smaller one. 

—

“Alam mo, ang hindi ko lang magets ay kung bakit lagi niyang inuuna ‘yang Kyungsoo na ‘yan. As if naman siya ang original— Hey!” Baekhyun swatted Sehun’s hand na papunta sa french fries niya. 

“Damot talaga, porket favorite! Gaya ni Park!” He laughed at his own joke at tinignan ang lalaking kasama niyang uminom sa straw ng drink niya. 

“Tigilan mo nga ko, Sehun. Hindi ko favorite si Park, okay? Sadyang naiinis lang ako dahil ako ang ORIGINAL bestfriend!” He ranted again and again. _Emphasis on the ORIGINAL._

“Nakakarindi na ‘yang rants mo, bakit ‘di mo nalang aminin na may gusto ka sakanya at nagseselos ka kasi nawawalan na siya ng oras sayo?” He bit in his own burger habang muling pinagmamasdan ang binata na nasa bintana ng restaurant ang tingin. 

“Hindi ako nagseselos at hindi ko rin siya gusto. Bawal bang mamiss ang bestfriend?! ‘Yan! Dyan kayo magaling! Mag-assume!” He defended at inubos na ang sarili niyang pagkain. 

“Hmm, sige. Dessert natin ‘yang mga sinabi mo.” He laughed again which earned him an angry glare from the latter. 

“Utot mo. Hinding hindi ko kakain ‘yang sinabi ko kasi totoo naman, nakakamiss lang ‘yung bestfriend ko.” Pinatong nalang niya ang baba niya sa kamay niyang nakapatong din sa lamesa. 

“Andito naman ako ‘ah.” Sehun whispered but unfortunately, Baekhyun heard it. 

“Eh, iba pa rin si Chanyeol.” He sighed. Again. 

Sehun just ruffled his hair. Chuckling while doing so.

“Kanina mo pa ko pinagtatawanan, ano namang nakakatawa ‘dun?!” It’s Sehun’s turn to sigh. 

“Wala, ang in denial mo. Sobra.” He said. Cleaning up the food they shared. 

“Uwi na nga lang tayo.” He took the smaller ones wrist and decided to go back to their dorm. 

—

“Isipin mo ha, 1 week. 1 week straight, hindi kami nakakapagusap ng maayos. Madalang sa texts lalo na sa personal. Uuwi, kakain tapos ligo at tulog na. Ni hindi ‘man lang ako mapansin kapag andun sa dorm.” I sighed for the nth time, sa totoo lang wala naman talaga akong dapat ipagrant. Siguro, gusto ko lang ilabas ‘yung damdamin ko for now. Ewan ko ba pagdating kasi sa kanya masyado akong sensitive— No, hindi ako sensitive. Malaki na ako, sadyang nawawalan lang siya ng oras sa akin and as a bestfriend diba normal lang magtaka o mainis pag nawawalan na siya ng oras sayo? 

“Magusap kasi kayo, tapatin mo. Ikaw na mag first move. Alam mo naman ‘yon si Park.” Tuloy lang sa paglalakad ang dalawa papunta sa dorm nila. 

“Ayoko nga, porket mahiyain siya hindi na siya nakakaramdam? Ganun ba ‘yon? Andito lang naman ako, naghihintay magfirst move siya. As if naman hindi ko siya kayang tiisin.” Napatingin nalang siya sa nilalakaran nila dahil totoo naman, hinding hindi niya kayang tiisin ang bestfriend niya. 

Napabuntong hininga nalang si Sehun. Kanina pa sila paulit-ulit. Para na silang sirang plaka, rant naman ‘tong isa at siya naman “usap” lang ang sinasabi. Hindi na din kasi niya alam kung ano pang sasabihin sa binata dahil alam niyang alam naman nito ang dapat na gawin. Ayaw niya lang gawin dahil may sarili siyang rason at ‘yon ang pagiging in denial. 

“Pag ikaw nagfirst move dyan, tatawanan talaga kita. Huwag ko lang talaga marinig na ikaw ang unang nakipagusap kay Park.” Tinawanan nalang ni Sehun ang binata. Wala na rin naman siyang magagawa. 

“Oh sige, ‘wag ka magalala. Nasa akin ang huling halakhak!” Pagmamayabang ni Baekhyun, na ikinatawa ni Sehun. _Sabi mo nga, as if naman matitiis mo si Chanyeol._

“Ang aga naman ng dessert natin, busog pa ako.” Sehun joked na ikinataka naman ni Baekhyun. 

“Huh? Dessert?” Umiling iling nalang si Sehun at tumawa, ayan na nga ba ang sinasabi niya. 

—

_6pm._

Supposedly dapat 6pm andito na silang dalawa sa dorm nila at dapat magsabi ‘man ang isa kung gagabihin. ‘Yun ang rules nila Mama Park at Byun ngunit mukhang may mapapagalitan dahil anong oras na wala pa rin siya. 

_Asan ka na ba? Lagot ka kayla Mama pag nalaman nilang late ka na umuwi. Di ka man lang magpaalam._

He sighed, once again. Hitting the send button. Atleast naman magkaron siya ng consideration diba? Magkasama silang dalawa sa iisang dorm tapos hindi ‘man lang magpaalam kung gagabihin? 

Bumangon nalang siya at bumaba. _Bahala siya, magisa nalang akong bibili ng dinner. Mukhang busog naman na siya paguwi._

Dumiretso siya sa 7/11 sa baba ng dorm nila. Pagkabukas ng glass door ay bumungad ang amoy ng hotdog at siopao nila. _Nakakatakam._

Pero mas trip niya ngayon ang rice meals, atleast don mabubusog siya. Dumiretso siya sa aisle kung saan matatagpuan ang mga rice meals. Kumuha siya ng isang jumbo sisig at isang bote ng delight. Binayaran niya ito at napagisipang doon nalang kakain, hassle pa kung sa dorm. Magugulo lang ang papers na nasa lamesa nila. Tinatamad din siyang magligpit. 

“Tch.” He grunted irritably. Gusto lang naman niya kumain, rold. Bakit ayaw pa magpabukas?! 

_Hmm, mamaya nalang, tinatamad pa kong humiram ng gunting._ He thought at binuksan nalang ang delight.

He looked outside. Ang ganda nga talaga ng dorm nila pag gabi. Sayang hindi niya masyadong naappreciate ‘to bugbog kasi siya sa school works at madalang nalang nakakapag-me time. Kapag may “me” time naman siya mas ginugusto niyang igugol ang oras niya kasama si Chanyeol. His mind drifted through everything he can think of. From his school works, friends, Sehun, Chanyeol, Kyungsoo, thesis, after college, and even aliens. Until his eyes caught something. Not just something, someone. 

He saw Kyungsoo walking Chanyeol on his way home. Talagang nagtatawanan pa ang dalawa, baka naman pwedeng ishare ‘yang pinaguusapan niyo?! He didn’t notice his eye rolled by themselves after they do so. Hay, everytime he sees Chanyeol with this Kyungsoo guy his blood boils. Feel niya kasi anytime mapapalitan siya. Don’t get him wrong, he’s not jealous okay?! Or atleast that’s what he thought so. Gusto lang talaga niya makasama ulit ‘yung bestfriend niya, just like the old times.

“Kung ayaw mong kainin ‘yung sisig mo, pwede akin nalang.” He jolted at the voice behind him. Sino naman ‘to?! He quickly turned his head back and saw none other than Sehun. 

“Konti nalang tatawagin na kitang kabute. Kung saan ka sumusulpot.” He rolled his eyes again. 

“Kanina pa kaya ako dito, hindi mo lang ako napapansin. Tsaka kita ko din kaya ‘yon!” He chuckled which made Baekhyun a little bit nervous. Hindi niya alam kung yumaman na ba 7/11 at lumamig ang aircon nila o kinakabahan lang siya dahil nakita ni Sehun ang itsura niya noong nakita niya ‘yun. 

“Oo na, hindi ka nagseselos” Sehun mocked him making his voice sound like Baekhyun’s.

“Nawalan na ko ng gana. Sayo nalang ‘yan.” He sighed at gulped his delight again. Sayang nawala na ‘yung lamig. How long has he been thinking?! Which then answers his thoughts na hindi yumaman ang 7/11 at kinakabahan lang talaga siya. 

“Buti nalang nakita mo ‘yon!” He laughed at mabilisang nabuksan ang jumbo sisig ni Baekhyun. Nalanghap naman ng binata ang masarap na amoy ng sisig ngunit nawalan na talaga siya ng ganang kumain noong nakita niya ‘yon. 

He just sighed and watch Sehun eat his food. He heard his loud chewing noises and decided to divert his attention at the scenery outside. 

Eh ano naman kung nagseselos siya?! Normal lang naman ‘yun sa magkakaibigan diba? Nagseselos ka kasi nawawalan na ng time sayo yung kaibigan mo. 

“Sehun,” He asks him, taking a sip from the delight bottle. He placed it on the table and continued looking through the window. 

“Hmm?” Sehun managed to reply after chewing his food. 

“Anong mararamdaman mo pag nawalan na ako ng oras sayo?” Humarap siya kay Sehun at nahuling iniinom ang delight niya. 

“Wala.” He just simply replied and shrugged his shoulders and continued eating. 

“Alam mo-!” hindi na niya natuloy ang pagsasalita at inagaw ang delight sabay pinagpapalo sa braso si Sehun. 

“Wala ka talagang kwenta!” He almost pouted and cried in defeat of his emotions. Ano bang ginagawa mo sakin, Park?! 

“I mean, wala naman talaga ako mararamdaman. Siguro, I’ll miss you a bit pero hanggang ganon nalang ‘yun. Malaki ka na, you know how to manage your time and spend it to those whose important for you. And you will choose to spend it with them.” He voice turned into a serious one and looked at Baekhyun. 

“Ngayon, doon nalang ako babase kung mahalaga pa ba ko sayo o hindi kasi i believe na you always have time for people that’s important for you. Kung ayaw pa din, edi ikaw na gumawa ng move. Wala namang hindi nadadaan sa usapan.” He just ruffled Baekhyun’s hair at tumingin na din sa labas. 

“‘Wag mo masyado isipin ‘yon, Alam kong hindi ka makakalimutan ni Park.” He just smiled at the thought of it pero nabawi nang pumasok sa isip niyang hindi na siya importante sa buhay ng bestfriend niya. And now he knows what to feel. Somehow, being with Sehun made sense and everything made sense. He guessed it’s Gods way of telling him na hindi niya kakayanin kung magisa lang siya at gugulo lang ang lahat. 

Tama nga ‘yung sabi ni Sehun. _Buti nalang talaga nakita ko ‘yon._

—

“Dali na isang picture lang!” Kinuha ni Sehun ang cellphone niya at tinutok ito kay Baekhyun. 

“Seryoso ka? Sa harap ng 7/11?!” Baekhyun rolled his eyes. Paano ba naman, nagaaya si Sehun na picturan siya sa tapat mismo ng 7/11 with his pajama and oversized tee. Seryoso talaga? 

“Baby pa naman ako. Bunso mo pa din, diba? pagbigyan mo na.” He teasingly smiled. Ayan na, he pulled the “bunso” and “baby” card. Iba talaga pag pinagsama ‘yon sa iisang sentence. 

“Hmp, one shot lang ha. Tapos uwi na tayo gabi na.” He sighed at naglakad na sa harap ng 7/11. He changed his posture at tumayo ng maayos for the picture.

“Ayan! Perfect!” Sehun exclaimed and took more than one picture, which the latter heard from the click sound of his phone. 

“Sabi ko, one shot lang.” Binatukan naman niya si Sehun habang pinapakita sakanya ang photos niya. 

“One for homescreen and another for lockscreen.” He teased the smaller one and ruffled his hair. 

“Kadiri ka, Sehun! May nililigawan ka na ‘oy! Magtigil ka nga.” Kunyari pang nasusuka si Baekhyun habang tinutulak palayo ang Sehun na hindi na makatayo ng maayos sa katatawa. _If he only knew._

But the other one didn’t. Lalo na ‘yung kanina pa nakatingin sa kanila ng masama mula sa taas ng dorm. 

Saya naman. He thought, closing the curtains at umupo nalang sa kama niya. He ruffled his hair out of frustration. _Ano ba ‘tong nararamdaman niya? It wasn’t supposed to be like this._

Inayos lang niya ang sarili niya nang makarinig ng ingay mula sa labas. 

“Sige na, Sehun. You didn’t have to naman. Malapit lang, mas lalo pa mapapalayo sa dorm mo.” Baekhyun smiled at him pero may hint pa din ng inis mula kanina. _Matampuhin siya, okay?!_

Which then, pumasok agad sa isip ng kasama niya. 

“‘Wag ka na magtampo! Minsan na nga lang kita kuhaan.” Sehun then rolled his eyes at the small one next to him. 

“Oo na, shoo! uwi na!” Baekhyun held his hands up, signaling Sehun na kailangan na niyang umuwi. 

Baekhyun was close to open the door but then was stopped by the voice of the taller one.

“Wala man lang goodbye hug?” He chuckled at his comment. Seriously?! Baby giant talaga. He just shook his head with a ‘no’.

“Edi goodbye kiss nalang!” 

That’s it! Kanina pa nagtitimpi ang bestfriend sa loob ng dorm nila. Yes, he heard everything. How dare he flirt with him?! Hindi ba niya alam na andito si Chanyeol? Hindi ba dapat si Chanyeol muna makaalam kung may nanliligaw sakanya? O ‘di kaya’y boyfriend na niya ‘yun? Bakit hindi siya nagsasabi? Ano ‘tong pinagsamahan nila? Bakit may naglilihim?

That thought made him feel betrayed at the same time angry. Ako ang nauna, ako ang bestfriend pero bakit hindi nagsasabi sakin? Hindi niya alam kung galit o nagtatampo siya. His indecisive mind decided to just open the door to shocked them both but he was stopped when he heard Baekhyun’s laugh. He suddenly felt the urge to just stay where he is. Parang mas gusto niya pakinggan ‘yun. That easily calmed him down. 

“Nako, tigilan mo nga ako! Alis na!” He shoo-ed Sehun once again and this time he opened the door which made the taller one surprised by the sudden action. 

“B-bakit.. late ka na! Hindi ka ‘man lang nags-sabi!” Chanyeol stuttered once Baekhyun came in their shared room. He didn’t know what to say, he just rambled whatever comes in his mind.

“Ikaw nga ‘yung late dyan, kanina pa ako andito.” Baekhyun replied plainly. Inayos nalang niya ang tsinelas na ginamit niya at humiga na sa kama. 

“Ka-kanina? Eh ano ‘yun?” Chanyeol fumbled with his fingers. He glanced at it. Somehow, he didn’t know how he couldn’t say or do a thing with Baekhyun’s presence. 

“Anong “ano ‘yun”?” Instead of answering his question. Baekhyun just replied another question to him. 

“‘Yun.” Chanyeol just pouted at the door. Which made the latter confused. Anong “‘yun”? with a matching pout pa sa door. As if may ginawa siya sa pintuan? Oh shit—! 

“Sehun?” He jolted up and fixed himself. He positioned himself with his toes under his thighs. 

“Hmm.. Se-sehun?” Chanyeol wanted to say more, wanting to ask more but was stopped by his shyness. He shouldn’t interfere with his bestfriends life. He looked up and in an instant their eyes met. Both bodies frozed. Not thinking what to do or to say. Fully immersed with their eye contact as they suddenly felt a tension as if the ac’s off. It’s very hot and they both knew that it’s not just the hotness from not turning the ac on. And Baekhyun’s definitely not liking it. He just shifted the topic to the heat he’s been feeling. 

“Ang init yeol, pakibukas naman ‘yung aircon.” He just picked up his phone in order to save himself from embarrassment as Chanyeol instantly got up and turned the aircon on. Both of them just stayed in a comfortable silence. Nobody’s speaking up in order to not give themselves another headache. Or in other words, they just don’t want to talk about the tension between the both of them. 

“Ah.. hmm.. how’s your day?” After awhile Chanyeol decided to converge both of them in a proper conversation.

“O-okay lang, kasama ko si Sehun halos buong araw.” Baekhyun replied, not looking at the latter. 

“Hmm.. Mine was.. a little bit tiring.. Tambay lang kami ni Kyungsoo sa lib, puro thesis. Alam mo na bawal bumagsak.” Inilagay lang ni Chanyeol sa likod ng ulo niya ang dalawang kamay niya at tumingala. He just stared at the wall. Not minding the smaller one occupying the space beside him. 

“H-huh, baek?!” Nagulat siya ng bigla itong niyakap ng binata. He abruptly felt his cheeks heating up. He was frozen solid in his position. 

“Bawal ba? Namiss ko bestfriend ko eh.” Baekhyun squeezed him tighter. _What can he do when the smaller ones sending him mixed signals?!_

“Hmm, not really.” He smiled at the warmth he’s feeling. _He was totally not feeling sorry. Not feeling sorry for the way he enjoys this feeling. Mostly, not feeling sorry for he knows the answer to his thoughts and the way he pushed it away because he, surely was falling deeper and deeper everyday._

“B-baek?!” _Fuck, ilang beses na ba niya ‘tong prinactice sa isip niya and now he’s stuttering? So stupid!_ He sighed. 

“Yeol? Bakit?” Baekhyun looked up and saw him furrowing his eyebrows. Ano na naman kaya pumasok sa isip nito?! 

“Wala. Kumain ka na?” He just placed his hands sa ulo ng binata at hinaplos haplos ang buhok nito, like they normally do. 

“Hm, hindi pa. Kinain ni Sehun dinner ko eh.” He laughed at the memory of it. Kung aalisin niya ang pagkakaibigan nila iisipin niya talaga na ginagamit lang siya ni Sehun for free food. 

“Magbo-boyfriend na nga lang buburautin ka pa, tsk.” He whispered and frowned sa sinabi niya. Nagtaka naman ang kayakap niya and pinched his nose. 

“Aray! Baek!” He scrunched his nose at tinignan ang binata. 

“Masakit ‘yon ah!” He added and ruffled the smaller ones hair. 

“Sorry na, kung ano ano kasi sinasabi mo ‘di mo naman pinaparinig.” _Kahit naman narinig ko na. At hindi ko aaminin ‘yon._

“Alam mo, magluluto nalang ako. Magsaing ka na.” Tumayo nalang si Chanyeol at nagsimulang magkilos sa kusina while leaving the smaller one in his bed. Snuggled up and sniffing the small traces of his smell under the blankets. 

“Byun! Saing na!” He instantly heard the tall ones shout. Liit liit ng dorm, bakit kailangan pang sumigaw? He sighed at tumayo na. 

“Hmp, sisigaw sigaw ka pa diyan. Andito lang naman ako.” Baekhyun walked up to him and saw him chopping some veggies for their dinner. 

“What are you cooking?” Dumungaw siya sa may balikat ng binata. At mabilis na pinulupot ang kamay sa beywang nito. Para-paraan din minsan. 

“Baekhyun!” Agad na humarap sa kanya ang kanina’y yakap yakap niya at ibinaba ang hawak nitong kutsilyo. 

The smaller one got shocked at the sudden raise of the giant ones voice. He admitted, he got really scared. He has this deep, husky with a distinctive dominance in his voice. Even though he’s always shy in front of others and even in front of him too you can never get away the fact that he’s so much more than what you can see outside. There’s something inside of him that’s not just that typical “shy” guy. 

“I-Im..sorry...” He quickly realized what he’s done that made the smaller one teary. 

“Its just.. I just.. I don’t..—“ 

“It’s fine,” He cupped the smaller ones cheeks at sighed. 

“I just.. don’t want you to get hurt.” He made their forehead touch but the smaller one needs more More feeling, more touching, more of him. More of everything. So instead of just letting their foreheads touch, he leaned in him and hugged him. Pushing his face on the giant’s chest. Inhaling and enjoying his scent. _Loving the way he’s being held._

“Hmm, sorry. You enjoy this?” He managed to speak while putting his chin on the smaller ones head.

“Yes, please. Stay first.” He muffled through the giant’s chest. 

They stayed there for awhile, letting their bodies enjoy the moment. Forgetting if their stomach grumbles or if they have to sleep because its getting late. 

The smaller one took the initiative to cut the moment they’re in. Releasing himself from the giant’s arms and continuing what he had to do— which is cook the rice.

“This is just quick, just set off the timer and leave it there. It’ll be done in 30 mins, so don’t sleep, okay?” Chanyeol murmured while ruffling my hair. He looked down and smiled at me. He leaned slowly, I didn’t know what to do. I was frozen, solid. Unable to function. Napapikit nalang ako at hinihiling kay lord na panaginip lang ‘to dahil kung hindi baka iflush ko nalang sarili ko sa banyo sa kahihiyan. Nawala ang lahat ng ‘yon ng maramdaman ko ang hininga niya, papalapit ng papalit. Masyadong mainit, hindi ko kakayanin kung magtatagal pa kami dito. Teka, eto na shet, rold joke lang po, bakit bestfriend ko pa first kiss ko. Teka rold, hindi ako ready—!

“Baek, toothbrush ka muna, saglit. Nangangamoy.” He leaned in my ear and whispered. 

“Tangina, Chanyeol.” I quickly released my breath never knowing I held one. Napatawa siya sa reaction niya mostly at sa kung anong sinabi ni Chanyeol. He always makes him feel these things kahit alam niyang hindi naman yun yung intention nito, He can’t help to think if may meaning ba lahat? O— 

“Sorry na, nahihiya kasi ako sabihin sayo ng hindi binubulong.” He smiled at me at nagpatuloy nang maghiwa ng sangkap sa dinner namin. 

nevermind nalang. assuming lang siguro ako. 

—

“Baek, okay na. Maghain ka na. Malapit na ‘to.” sigaw ni Chanyeol mula sa kusina, amoy na amoy ang curry na niluto niya. Minsan talaga happy din ako na friends sila ni Kyungsoo, dami niya natutunan sa pagluluto. Tignan mo ngayon, kung iisipin mo dati nung freshman kami nabubuhay lang kami instant noodles at itlog pero ngayon may pa curry na. 

“Halika na nga,” he laughed at siya nalang ang naghain ng pagkakainan namin. Sa sobrang titig at pagiisip ko sa kanya natulala nalang ako sa pwesto ko. Sino ba naman kasing hindi siya magugustuhan? Napaka-husband material. 

Napasapo nalang ako sa noo ko, tangina. _Ano ba ‘tong naiisip ko._ Well, hindi naman masamang isipin na husband material siya diba? I mean good for him, makakahanap siya agad ng karelasyon. 

“Bakit ka naka-pout diyan, ano iniisip mo?” tanong niya sakin nang makapunta ako sa lamesa, 2 ang plato at magkaharap kami habang sinasandukan niya ako ng kanin at ulam. Ni hindi ko ‘man lang napansing malinis ang lamesa at hindi puno ng papel kagaya dati kasabay ng pagpout ko. 

“Huh? W..Wala ‘to. Kain nalang tayo.” Nginitian ko siya at umupo nalang. Kinuha ko ang pitchel ng tubig at nilagyan ang baso namin. Sumulyap ako sa peripheral vision ko at nakita siyang nakangiti habang kumakain, hindi ko alam kung nginitian niya ako sa ginawa ko o dahil lang masarap ang luto niya. Nakakagulo ng utak, hindi ko nga alam bakit ko ba iniisip ‘yung maliliit na bagay na ‘yon. 

“Masarap ba?” He looked at me while serving me more potatoes and carrots. 

“Hmm, oo. Si Kyungsoo nagturo, ‘no?” I asked him while taking a spoonful of the food. I saw him take a sip first before answering. 

“Hindi, napanood ko lang sa internet.” He proudly exclaimed parang inaangkin ‘yung curry mismo eh. Nakakatuwa pagmasdan. Napangiti nalang ako. 

“Kain ka lang, kapag naubos mo ‘yan magluluto nalang ulit ako bukas umaga, gusto mo ibaon?” Tinanong niya ako habang nakatingin sa pagkain niya, doon ko lang napansin na konti lang ang kinuha niyang kanin at ulam. 

“Dapat nga ikaw ang kumakain, tignan mo halos wala pang 1 cup ‘yung rice mo tas puro sabaw, ni walang veggies.” I sighed at kinuha ang bowl na naglalaman ng curry. Sasandokan ko na sana siya nang ulam nang harangin niya ang kamay ko. 

“Hindi na, ubusin mo na ‘yan. Sayo nalang, besides nakakain naman na ako kanina.” Pagpapaliwanag ni Chanyeol na ginawa namang daan ni Baekhyun para tanungin ang tanong na kanina pa niya gustong tanungin. 

“Kumain kayo ni Kyungsoo? Ano ginawa niyo?” He asked, putting the bowl away from them. He took a sip from the cup, letting the water down his throat. You can sense the tension through the air, the way Chanyeol stared intently with every move Baekhyun does. Preferably, how good his throat looks like, swallowing the liquid. Their eyes met and for the nth time, everything feels hot. And no, it’s not coming from the ac nor meal they’re having. He shifted his gaze and coughed. 

“I.. We.. We just talked about the thesis. ‘Yun lang tas nagkayayaan lumabas.” He replied while attempting to take a spoonful of his food. 

“Oh, tagal naman ng thesis umabot ng 6pm. Haha.” Baekhyun awkwardly laughed, insert the sarcasm. He didn’t know where it came from, hindi din naman niya intention na iparating sa kausap niya ‘yon. Sadyang nadala lang siya ng emosyon niya, it’s the first time in weeks since they ate together.

He hates to admit it. Ni hindi nga siya marunong makaramdam nun but now? _Yes, selos siya. Selos na selos._

“Oo nga, 6:30 ka na nga nakauwi kasama si Sehun.” Chanyeol replied back, the jealousy in his voice is evident. He was sweating, he didn’t know if it’s only in his imagination or Chanyeol’s voice just got deeper and huskier. What is it? What’s the meaning of it? Is there something behind it? 

He shook his head and pushed his thoughts aside. He shouldn’t be thinking about it, it’s normal. They’re bestfriends, that’s normal. 

“Tapos na ako.” Tumayo si Chanyeol at inayos ang pinagkainan niya. Baekhyun could only stare but he knew deep inside that something is wrong. 

Nagmadali siyang kumain para sana siya na maghugas ng pinagkainan nila ng marinig niya ang pagbukas ng gripo. 

“Yeol, ako na dyan.” Nagmadali siyang tumayo at dumiretso sa lababo. Nakita niyang nakatalikod si Chanyeol at nakasandal ang kamay sa lababo, leaving his shoulders prominent. He suddenly felt a tingling sensation but pushed it aside quickly. 

“Yeol, sabi ko—“ He was cut off by the ringing of a phone. It was Chanyeol’s. 

Humarap lang si Chanyeol sakanya nang hindi ‘man lang siya tinatapunan ng tingin at dumiresto sa lamesa, kung saan naiwan ang phone niya. 

“Hello? Yes, Kyungsoo?” He heard it. Clearly. 

He just sighed and let him be, hayaan mo na malaki na si Chanyeol. Whatever happened there should just stay there. Hindi na big deal ‘yon, malaki na sila. Or so he thought, dahil hanggang ngayon binabagabag pa din siya ng sinabi ng kaibigan niya. Ano ‘yon? Bakit kahit paulit-ulit na niyang pinapaulit sa utak niya ang sinabi ng binata ramdam pa rin ang selos sa boses nito? Totoo nga ba? 

Nagpatuloy nalang siya sa paghuhugas ng pinagkainan nila. Pagkabalik niya ay nakita niya ang binatang nasa balcony at busy sa pagkalikot ng cellphone niya. Dumiretso siya doon at nakitang naninigarilyo ito. 

Hindi niya alam kung anong pumasok sa isip niya at hinablot niya ang hawak hawak na sigarilyo ng binata. Tinapon sa lapag at may pagdabog pa sa pagtapak nito. 

“Ano bang problema mo? Huling stick ko na ‘yon!” Nagulat siya sa marahang pagsigaw ng binata, natakot siya dahil hindi niya inaasahang ganon ang magiging reaksyon nito dahil alam niyang hindi marunong magalit ang kaibigan niya but he swallowed away his thoughts. Looking just into his eyes. Seeing the giant’s scattered emotions through the window of his eyes. 

“Kung papatayin mo sarili mo, ‘wag mo akong idamay.” He regretted to spit that words out of his mouth, following with a lump in his throat. _Tangina, Chanyeol. Bakit ang hirap mong pakisamahan._

“Masaya ka na? Okay ka na ba?” He eyebrows furrowed at the sudden questions. 

“A-Anong ibig sabihin mo?” He saw the taller one put his phone in his pocket at dumiretso ang tingin sa kanya. The atmosphere felt heavier. 

“Bakit mo kailangang gawin ‘yon? Alam mo naman kung bakit ako naninigarilyo.” He saw him pulled his hair out of frustration. Gusto niyang lapitan, gusto niyang yakapin. Gusto niyang ipadamang hindi siya nagiisa. 

“Andito naman ako, you don’t have to find your escape in something that’s bad for you.” He didn’t know where he got the courage to speak like that. Basta he knew na he had to do something, ayaw niya lang tuluyan mawala sa kanya ang bestfriend niya. 

“‘Yun nga eh, kaya ayoko lumapit sayo kasi you’re bad for me.” He saw the glimpse of tears threatening to spill out from Chanyeol’s eyes. He  
saw how hurt and in pain he was. 

“Ba-bakit..? How come I’m bad for you? Bestfriend mo ako.” He uttered those words even though it felt like daggers in his heart. 

“That’s why, you’re my bestfriend at alam kong hanggang bestfriend lang tayo. Isa kang tanga kung maiinlove ka sa bestfriend mo and I’m a fool for you.” Chanyeol managed to let out these words and feelings he’s been feeling for awhile. Kahit na naiiyak siya, he kept everything in. He didn’t want to burden Baekhyun with his feelings. He shouldn’t be responsible for that, sa kanya ‘yun. Okay lang na malaman ni Baekhyun pero ayaw niyang iparamdam kay Baekhyun na dapat kahit papaano may pity or empathy ‘man lang para sa pinagsamahan nila. No, he thinks they both don’t deserve that. Hindi na niya nakaya ang nangyari at tumalikod na sa binata, kasabay nito ang pangako sa sarili na hanggang doon nalang lahat. Tatalikuran na din niya ang nararamdaman niya para sa kaibigan at ang halos 15 years na pagkakaibigan nila, matatapos nalang dahil sa hindi maiwasang pagmamahal nito nang higit pa sa pagkakaibigan para sa binata. 

“Bakit ka tumalikod?” Tumayo ang balahibo niya sa leeg nang maramdaman ang yakap mula sa likod ng binata, kasabay ang mainit na boses nito sa balikat niya. 

“I..ah..” He opened his mouth but no proper word came from it. He was frozen, he didn’t know what to do. He couldn’t explain the sudden actions from his bestfriend. Out of pity? He scratched that thought. The the smaller turned him around, so he could face him properly. 

“Gusto din kita.” The sudden confession made him think twice. Ano ‘yung kanina? Ano si Sehun? Bakit may Sehun? 

“A..Ah, hindi tama ‘yan. Mahal kita pero magagalit ang boyfriend mo.” His frown turned into confusion when the small one furrowed his eyebrows. 

“B-boyfriend?” He asked, surprise was evident in his voice. 

“Oo, ‘yung naghatid sayo kanina.” He looked down out of shyness. Sobra sobra na ata katangahan niya, kumukota na. 

“Si Sehun?” Napatingala siya nang marinig ang tawa ng binata. 

“Kaibigan ko lang ‘yun! May nililigawan ‘yon!” Nagpatuloy ang binata sa pagtawa, clutching his stomach. Napangiti naman si Chanyeol sa sinabi ng maliit. 

“Ako nga ‘tong dapat magtanong sayo.” Hindi na niya hinayaang magsalita pa muli ang binata at nagsalita na. He knows what the smaller feels, mahiyain siya pero marunong siyang makiramdam. 

“Groupmate ko lang siya sa thesis, sorry kung inuuna ko lagi si Kyungsoo. Sadyang, kailangan lang para sa thesis.” He looked at him at hindi mapigilan macute-an. Nakapout kasi si Baekhyun habang nakatingala sakanya. He couldn’t take it anymore at niyakap ang binata. 

“Ako nga ‘tong dapat magselos, wala nang oras bestfriend ko para sa akin.” He heard a puff in the air coming from none other than his lover. 

“Bestfriend? Akala ko ba may gusto ka din sakin?” It was the giant’s turn to pout, playing the victim in their own little game. 

“Aba manligaw ka muna!” Ramdam niya ang pagpalo ng maliit sa likuran niya. 

“Pero, aminin mo. Nagseselos ka kay Kyungsoo?” The giant giggled at what he just said. Ang sarap sa pakiramdam na over protective ang mahal niya. 

“Oo, puro siya nalang eh.” Ramdam niya ang bitterness sa boses ni Baekhyun. He just chuckled and rubbed his hands in Baekhyun’s back. 

“Mahal kita,” He sighed in contentment, si Baekhyun na ‘yan eh. Hindi ka pa ba makukuntento? 

“Mahal din kita, sobra.” The smaller one tightened their hug. Sniffing the tall ones scent through his clothes. Masaya na siya dito, wala nang hihilingin pang iba. 

They both released from each other’s warmth. Only their heartbeats were heard throughout the room, both hesitating on what to do. Not until the smaller one got the courage to tip toe and leaned into the taller one. They both closed their eyes while closing the gap between their friendship. Baekhyun felt the soft lips engulfing his own. He moaned at the feeling which made an entrance for the taller one to explore his mouth from his tongue. It was their moment— indeed. Pouring their frustrations and feelings into the kiss with so much passionate and love. It was evident that they just both needed some courage to let their feelings all out. 

After a few more minutes Chanyeol decided to end their session by pecking Baekhyun’s lips, leaving the small one with a whimper. Foreheads touching, while both of them smiled at each other. 

They stayed at that position not knowing the other line of Chanyeol’s phone muffled a giggle through his pocket. 

“Sabi ko naman sayo love, effective ‘yung plano natin.” Kyungsoo giggled while cuddling Sehun. 

“Buti nalang hindi tayo napansin na sabay naglakad paalis ng dorm nila. Kundi sayang ang plano.” He added, smirking in triumph. Gumana ang plano nilang dalawa ni Sehun.

“Gayahin din natin sila, love.” Sehun pouted, leaning in anticipating a kiss when he felt a hand pinch his sides. 

“Ayan! Dyan ka magaling!” He teased the younger while ending the call. Sapat na ‘yung narinig nila at binigyan na ng privacy ang dalawa. 

“basta sakin ka lang ha.” The younger pouted while making angry noises. Napatawa naman si Kyungsoo dito at hinalikan ang noo ng binata. 

“Ano pa bang magagawa ko? Sorry, kung nagseselos siya sakin.” He just hugged Sehun tighter for a few minutes before blurting out. 

“Delete mo ‘yung picture.” Sehun heard Kyungsoo pout. Anong picture? 

“Ah? Anong?—“ Then suddenly it hit him! Picture nga palang kinuhaan niya kay Baekhyun. 

“Sino kaya mas seloso satin?” He laughed at the cute gesture of his boyfriend. 

“Saglit lang.” He continued while opening his phone. Sending the picture to Chanyeol with a message of _Thank me and Kyungsoo later, enjoy ;-)._

“Nag **laro** na naman tayo ng kupido sa dalawang ‘to.” Kyungsoo added and they both laughed at the night away. In satisfaction of course that their plans came together perfectly. 

Paano nalang kaya kung wala sila? _Mahiyain pa rin si Chanyeol at In denial pa rin si Baekhyun._

**Author's Note:**

> at kung umabot ka dito, isa lang ang ibig sabihin non. Congrats! nakarating ka na sa destinasyon mo, salamat sa pagbabasa at sa suporta sa cb authors, wala kami kung walang sumusuporta sa amin! Love ko kayong lahat! Tuloy lang din ang pagmamahal sa cb at exo. :-)


End file.
